You are looking at posts that were written in the month of November in the year 2007.
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Posted on November 22nd, 2007 by Mr. Fatuous.
Categories: Inane Banter.
Looking at the website’s logs it appears that my “colourful” language is accidentally attracting people looking for smut rather than idiot comment.
If you are looking for sexy, barely legal, big titted, cum gobbling, slutty, cock sucking, whore MILFs who do anal then I apologise unreservedly. As a way of saying sorry have a picture instead.
Posted on November 20th, 2007 by Mr. Fatuous.
Categories: Inane Banter.
Where do you start on this one?
0 secs - You see a lithe female figure on a swing. OK so far.
4 secs - Then you see a bear. Could be a worrying attack but Tony the tiger never mauled anyone so still OK.
5 secs - Wait a fucking minute here, the lithe female has the head of a deer. Why? I’m sure there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for this.
13 secs - Oh of course it’s so obvious. Females with the head’s of deer love the manky taste of orangina. Not content with tasting really nasty the keep the evil bits in to make sure you really don’t enjoy it. A fact wasted on she-deer.
14 - 28 secs - My dear God he’s tossed his orangy seed on the ground to grow a flower so he can woo this she-deer. Despite the fact he’s a he-bear. This is like a man shagging a dog!
36 secs - No no no no, there’s load of them strutting round like female prostitute version of manimal gone wrong. Where do they come from? To get the human body somebody must have though having sex with animals or mixing animal eggs with human sperm was an acceptable scientific experiment. It’s like being lent the dodgy VHS copy of Animal Farm at school all over again.
51 secs - Great, the he-bear is wearing pants, just what I needed to see.
101 secs - Can they top this? She-deer has just had the orangina equivalent of a golden shower. All we need now is the animal equivalent of John Holmes to appear and we have 70s porn covered in human-animal form.
114 secs - She-giraffe riding a bottle of orange muck like it’s a giant cock. Check.
129 secs - Bottles spurt just in case you missed the cock reference. Followed quickly by what must be the first representation of orangy cum on she-animal tits.
133 secs - Do you know, I’ve had this hole. A nagging spiritual hole that no church could ever fill, no booze could ever sate. Now I’ve realised what it was. Up until now I’d never seen a creature whip the bra off a panda with a human body before. Now I feel complete.
135 secs - My mistake. Up until now I’d never seen an octopi with human bits use oranges as a metaphor for lactating breasts.
145 secs - My life will never be quite the same again. No matter how hard I try I’ll never be able to wipe those 145 seconds from my brain.
On the plus side goatse holds no fear for me now.
Posted on November 20th, 2007 by Mr. Fatuous.
Categories: Inane Banter.
“Why do we not drink rats’ milk, cats’ milk or dogs’ milk?” asks Heather Mills.
Let’s break it down animal by animal to explain to the poor woman.
Dog’s Milk - Dog’s are too intelligent to be milked. Cow’s have the decency to stare blankly ahead whilst being milked. If you could get a dog to stop running around long enough to start milking it the creature would look at you inquisitively throughout until you’d have to blurt out, “my God, what am I doing, this is so wrong, don’t look at me like that, I’m sorry, I’ll buy you a nice bone, let’s never talk of this again.”
Cat’s Milk - Also an intelligent animal. Only instead of inquisitive looks it would be more a look of “what the fuck do you think you’re doing you muppet?” Secondly, and possibly more importantly, cats scratch and bite. A lot. I really don’t want my milk to have rich, thick head of blood on it.
Rat’s Milk - I’m going to skim past the whole “vermin” issue. Given time we could recondition ourselves not to think of rats as disgusting little shits. Granted it would take about as long as it would take us to not think “money grabbing bint” every time we see Heather Mills but we would get there in the end. Already I’m starting to think of Heather suckling a rat more than her rolling in a pit of money like a monoped Scrooge McDuck. No the real issue that seems to have escaped Heather is that rats are really quite small. Rat’s are small, we like lots of milk. Cows big - lots of milk, rats small - tiny amount of milk.
I propose we reduce the global warming problem by reducing hot air. Let’s start by firing Heather and Sheryl “one sheet” Crow into space.
