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Posted on July 20th, 2008 by Mr. Fatuous.
Categories: Food.
About a month ago somebody on b3ta designed a new snack combining the joy of Jaffa Cakes with the meat and eggy goodness of scotch eggs. The result, that you can see an image of on b3ta’s forum, is the Jaffegg. At the time several people thought it was a marvellous idea and vowed to actually make a jaffegg cake. As far as I can tell nobody did. We now somebody has. Me.
Ingredients
To make jaffeggs you will need.
Making a Jaffegg
First you need to make the sausage base. Put a bit of flour on a board and your hands so the sausage doesn’t stick. Roll the meat into a ball and then flatten it quite a bit. Finally use your thumbs to make a dent that will hold the egg yolk. I used normal sausages skinned rather than a packet of meat and one sausage made one jaffegg.
A made four in total. My plan was to make two with the yolks in and two that I added the yolks to near the end so the yolk was only partially cooked. I then brushed the top outer ring of each base with oil so the breadcrumbs would stick.
I then separated the egg yolks to add to the base to make the “smashing yellow eggy bit™.” This went relatively well and only one yolk out of four was sacrificed to the kitchen sink. I then carefully slid the yolk onto two of the bases.
Breadcrumbs were then sprinkled onto the top of the complete jaffeggs. The two that were having the yolks added to later I just sprinkled the breadcrumbs round the outside. I added some extra crumbs to the tray to sprinkle on afterwards. If you want to cheer up Gordon Brown you can use stale bread to make the breadcrumbs. I don’t think anything could put a smile on his face so I used the unnatural orange breadcrumbs that are used for scotch eggs.
They were then ready to bake. I shoved them in for 30 minutes at 180°c. I took them out five minutes from the end to add the yolks to the other jaffeggs before shoving them in again. That was the plan however the one’s without the yolks had shrivelled to half the size so the yolk just balanced on top and the spare crumbs had burnt. I had to sprinkle fresh crumbs on top and hope they cooked in five minutes. You have been warned.
When cooked I took them out of the oven and discovered they’d lost a lot of the jaffa cake shape and had become little round sausage UFOs* instead. *Unidentified frying object. Deep fat frying the cakes may well stop this happening but I don’t have one despite living in Leeds for a while when I was younger.
Time to cut the eggy bad-boy open to see if the basic shape was preserved.
Not bad at all. You can make out all the parts and they are roughly in the right place. The one’s I added the yolk to later looked all wrong. Like pac-man in a meat canoe with his mouth shut and cocaine all over his face.
I can report that both where lovely, like scotch eggs without the boring egg-white. Many thanks to Thor_sonofodin for the original idea.
Posted on February 10th, 2008 by Mr. Fatuous.
Categories: Food, Inane Banter.
Did you enjoy having a little toss the other day? I’m talking pancakes of course.
We all know the story behind Shrove Tuesday even if we’re not entirely sure what a shrove is. Many, many years ago the baby Jesus wanted to get away from it all with a nice break and decided to make sandcastles in the desert.
Before he went the locals decided he’d need feeding up before going out there.
“Would you like a nice plate of fatted calf?” they asked.
“No thank you,” replied Jesus.
“What about a nice bit of steak? Scotch egg? Findus crispy pancake? Artic roll? An Easter egg?”
“No, what I want is some really thin fried batter with a bit of sugar and lemon on it,” replied Jesus.
“We’re out of lemons Jesus. All we’ve got is this old plastic lemon with juice in that we haven’t used for a year.”
“That will be fine as long as I get to squirt it myself. Oh and you’re not allowed to turn the pancake with a spatula, you’ll have to flip it.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m the son of God and I say so.”
That is why we still eat pancakes to this day. This year I decided to have a complete meal with two savoury cheese and ham pancakes and then two sweet ones with sugar and lemon. To make it interesting I added a Jack Bauer sense of pressure. Once the first pancake was ready I slid it onto the plate and immediately poured the next load of batter into the pan. I now had the time it took for the next pancake to cook to eat the first one. I did this through all four pancakes whilst imagining being shouted at by a terrorist.
Terrorism lost that day, indigestion had a minor victory.
Posted on January 25th, 2008 by Mr. Fatuous.
Categories: Food.
As promised last week here’s the second recipe for making meat equivalent snacks of sweets. This week it’s a meat dip. Sounds delicious already doesn’t it? This recipe is even easier than last weeks.
Ingredients
A carton of choc dips
A peperami
Tomato Ketchup
Preperation
Eat the choc dip. I chose to go om nom nom whist eating it. You can use any sound effects you like.
Refill
Now it’s time to make the meaty version.
Fill the choc container part with tomato ketchup. You can wash that bit first if you can be bothered. I couldn’t so I took the gamble of a tomato / chocolate mish-mash. It was fine in the end. Squirty ketchup bottles would be far easy than the glass ones. Who uses glass ketchup bottles these days. Get with the plastic program Grandad, no you don’t even need a knife to get the stuff out!
Now we need the meaty dips. Using a spare bready stick thing from the choc dip I cut the peperami to length. You get about 3 bits from a peperami if you’ve accidentally eaten all the sticks and are having to guess.
You’ll have noticed the meat is thicker than the stick so you’ll have to cut each bit in half lengthways. Warning - Wild peperami can be tricky creatures. They like to dive out of the way at the last second so you cut through your finger instead. If in doubt ask an adult. What do you mean you are an adult?
Now you can pop them in the pot and your meaty snack is complete.
All that remains left to do now is enjoy!
No I don’t know what’s going on with my eyes. I mustn’t have slept well.
No idea what’s going on with my face either. I’m sure it doesn’t look like that normally.
Yes I am wearing the same t-shirt as last week. That’s because I did them at the same time. The weeks gap is a man-made delay in a desperate attempt to create tension. That and I know I’ll probably be too busy to do anything for a while again. I’m nothing if not inconsistent.
Feel free to suggest other fun food / drink ideas and maybe I’ll do them for you. Normal moaning service will resume soon.
